The feeling of insecurity, where there no place is safe , and where the Israeli occupation is controlling every moment of your daily lives, movements, children's school times, patients moving , supplies of water, electricity, and even the food you consume and the oxygen you breathe is more overwhelming than outsiders can imagine.

Returning home to Gaza, I had to fly first to Cairo, then to go by coach to the Rafah crossing border via Sinai desert, – a journey that takes 6 hours at least. (Palestinians are not allowed to use Tel Aviv airport, where the journey to Gaza is an hour and half normally.)

On the borders and after the routine passport checks, I met some hundreds of Palestinian passengers, who told me that they have been waiting in the passengers hall for at least 3 days. The Israelis allow a certain number of passengers to cross daily, and that leads to an accumulating number of passengers who are usually not allowed to leave the transit hall after they enter it.

It was my lucky day, the Israelis allowed more buses than usual to cross. After 2 hours of waiting I was allowed to leave the Egyptian transit hall, I got on the bus that will travel 30 meters to reach the Israeli side of the border through a wired gate. I waited on that bus for four whole hours. The passengers were crowded and included many children, some of them babies and some of them sick . There were elderly people too. It was extremely hot – 104 degrees farenheit , and as long as you are on the bus between the two gates, you are not allowed to get out. There were about 90 people in the bus which had a capacity of 52 passengers capacity. After the coach started moving , I was told by the driver that we were lucky to cross the same day, and to stay only 4 hours, some other passengers had waited 7 hours in previous days.

We arrived at the Israeli transit gate, under the shade we stayed for another one hour, then to the nice cool air conditioned hall where the Israeli occupation forces welcomed me home. After 2 hours of questioning and security checkups I was sent to the outside gate where another bus was waiting to deliver me a distance of 20 meters. (I stayed in that bus with the same passengers for another hour.)

This bus dropped us to the last gate where I found the taxi to take me to Gaza (40 km from Rafah). But, after 15 minutes we were stopped at the checkpoint in the middle of the Gaza strip, where all the people were obliged to stop at the checkpoint for 90 minutes. At 6 o'clock pm and after 18 hours traveling from Cairo airport to Gaza, I arrived home.

Three hours after my arrival, I heard that the Gaza strip was completely sealed off, and divided into 5 separate areas, where movement is strictly prohibited from one area to another. (The Gaza strip is 360sq.km - 40% of this area is under the settlements (6000 settlers) and Israeli occupation forces control.) One and a half million Palestinians resides in the rest of the area.

The complete siege continued for one whole week. I was lucky to arrive home and to meet my children. Since my arrival the whole situation has deteriorated, several assassination attacks by air force shelling continued, small military incursions took place in different areas of Gaza, reoccupation of Beit Hanoun village in the north took place for 2 weeks, and the operation is ongoing for an unlimited period.

I cannot follow up the number of closures and military operations in the Gaza strip since my arrival (2weeks), but for sure I clearly know that since my arrival I was unable to see my mother who lives in the south (Khan Yunis) only 20 minutes drive from my home.

Mona El Farra givara72@yahoo.com