The Jeeps came early, but I can't remember when. So much has happened this week it has all become mush. The youth threw stones and bottles of paint as usual and we stood up front so to be in plain sight. A soldier steped out of the jeep and took a knee as they often do when they fire gas. I don't know why I just stood there and didn't shout something to the affect of “International, don't shoot, they are only children!” as I usually do. The soldier fired as the youth ran. I heard a bullet hit a piece of sheet metal standing in the road about 4 meters from me. Then I saw a young boy about 14 lying limp about 6 meters from me on the other side of the sheet metal. I ran over to him and say a pool of blood and blood coming out of the back of his head at a fair rate. I scooped the limp body up and say his eyes rolled to the back and took off for the ambulance.

There were screams and shouts from all around but I seemed to have tunnel vision and could'nt take my eyes off the boys eyes. I felt someone tugging at me trying to take the boy from my arms as I ran with him, but I wouldn't let go. Then I reconized the man. He was a friend and a medic. I transfered the limp body and turned to the jeep, raised my arms and shouted “why” as I fought back tears.

The jeep the excellerated towards us at us at a rapid rate of speed and swerving in crazy manner. Everyone who hadn't left was fleeing except for about 3 of us internationals. I steped to the side and had my back pinned to a wall, the jeep slowed just before reaching us and stoped just past us. Then it sped off down the road chasing the youth. I couldn't help but swear at the jeep as it passed by. Later I learned that inside the jeep were some of the same soldiers that I had been in the occupied house with. The same soldiers that claim they don't hurt children and are only after the terrorist.

I don't think they have to look far to see a terrorist. I had the privilage to see the humanity in these young men and the horror to see the darkness in them as well. It would be so much easier if they were always evil but it is never so simple it is never black and white. The truth lies in the grey. Last word is the boy has been in surgery, is still in the ICU, and his life hangs on by a tiny thread. If he lives he will most likely loose sight and some brain function. I don't know if it was lucky for him or not but he was shot with a “rubber bullet”. These rubber bullets are a teflon coated steal about the size of a marble.

Later in the day a boy was shot 4 times in the cementary by sniper in an occupied house. The same house I had been in several days before. The family claims the sniper said just before killing the boy, “I'm going to kill an Arab now and you will hear his screams”. The boy was shot in the arm, chest and head.

We were out late, until 8ish dealing with the incursions and were exhausted by the end of the day.

Thurs Aug. 12th.

At 8 am the buzzer at the front door went off. I didn't want to answer because I knew what the story was. Two small boys greeted me by saying that the soldiers were in the camp with 6 jeeps. I quickly got dressed and woke up the rest of the men (the women stay in another apartment in the old city and the men stay in the refugee camp).

Two of us went out to survey the scene. It was quiet but 3 jeeps were on each end of the camp. One of the jeeps waved me over and an overly polite soldier asked where I was from. I asked where he was from and why he was in this camp. He claimed that he didn't want to be there but had to be. Yea I thought, I've heard this story before. Just before a boy gets killed by a soldier who claims he means no harm. I politely cut the “chat” short because chatting with soldiers in the camp is bad news and I don't trust his intent. We went back to the apartment and gave a situation report and then headed out with a banner. Three of us stood in front of the jeeps for about 45 minutes with the banner then moved to another part of the camp. Soon shots were fired. Some one said a man was shot in the leg. I dropped down into an ally to investigate just as four men came carring the wounded young man.

I jumped in to help carry. He didn't seem to be shot in the leg and most of the blood was around his clavicle/ neck region and he acted as though he was about to die. I searched for a hole and finally while carrying with one hand ripped his button shirt open in search of the sight. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, I pulled up his under shirt. He came alive then “no, no” he said. He might have been injured but so bad that he wouldn't allow his belly to be exposed in public. I knew I was pushing it but I was desperate to locate the injury at the same time I felt as though I was carrying his whole upper body.

We ran through narrow allies, avoiding the jeeps that were trying to cut us off and were not letting the ambulance in. We finally reached a small medical center, slamming the doors behind us. I set the man down on a table and was tired from the sprint but had to go out and try to block the jeeps if they came for the man. Often the army will arrest a person after they have shot him, claiming they are fighters, even if they are not. Thank god the ambulance was able to reach the center and the jeeps came no further than the end of the road.

Back on the streets it was the typical scene with rocks and anything movable flying at jeeps. The youth ran out of object to throw and threw their garbage at the jeeps. We learned of another occupied house and 2 of us went to investigate. It was confirmed and we tried to speak with the soldiers to no avail. After about an 30 minutes of shouting at the house and knocking at the door the soldiers finally communicated with us by throwing a sound bomb at us. I was exhausted and starving. I hadn't eaten and all the stores were close due to the incursion.

Soon jeeps came and threw a sound bomb down at us from the main street since the only way to access the house was by walking a short distance down a narrow ally. O-boy that bomb was loud since it caught us off guard and I was in a narrow confined area. Then came gas. O what fun. But then came friends with food. Yes life is good when you have friends and food. With in 45 minutes we were being smoked out as the jeeps came to extract the soldiers. That was the second house they left that morning and no one was hurt by snipers in either house.

It was a long day with lots of rubber bullets and of course plenty of live ammo. Several times I could hear the rubber bullets wizzing down the main street.

Later in the early afternoon there came several shots from an occupied house. One boy had his arm all but shot off and another was shot in the abdomen. Three of us went to the house and upon arriving learned that a doctor and two BBC jouralists were being detained with the family. We were rudely met in the court yard of the house by BBC journalist James Reynalds [spl?]. The first thing he said was

'who are you and where are you going?' and more quotes are, 'I have two BBC journalists inside don't do anything stupid!'

'We have been in the Middle East for 3 years and are the best in this region!'

He acted so full of himself. I was more disgusted by his behavior than the soldiers. We decided to let him deal with the situation since he was the 'professional'. When they were finally released, we told them that 2 people had been shot from the house they were in but that was not news. Their detention was the story in their mind. They never negotiated for a environment for the family which consisted of three elderly. BBC lost a lot of respect from me. They only cared about the story and not the people. The story was in the people not the detention of a couple of privileged journalists.

At about 6 pm we were called to another occupied house overlooking the camp. A family of 6 was being held on the 4th\top floor with the soldiers. The other floors were still inhabited by families that were free to go. Again there were medical conditions that needed checking up on and it was up to us to try to get in. We knocked and spoke through the door for an hour and a half with no response. Finally we heard a noise at the door and the man of the house opened the door. A soldier soldier stood in the shadows behind the man with his gun covering the man and me as I approached the door. The woman and a child sat on the couch at gun point from another soldier. The man said they were ok but he looked very scared. And it was obvious that he was saying what he was told to say and nothing more. The soldier would not let me enter. Given that it was 8 pm and the house had been occupied sense 3 am, and the soldiers knew their location was known I expected them to leave soon so I made little fuss and left the building when the soldiers shut the door. I have to admit I felt like I was giving up but at the same time I knew I was doing what I believed was right. The soldiers left an hour later and the family was glad that we had come.

Back down in the camp we were asked to have two women to spend the night with the elderly in the house that the BBC had been detained. The rest of us helped burry a small infant that was a still birth born prematurly on the 6th month that day. The mother had lost her brother that month due to an Israeli assassination and had her home occupied the day before. No wonder she was under some stress. We were asked to help with the burial because everyone was afraid to go into the cementary.

Friday Aug 13th

The Jeeps came at the noon prayers they seemed angrier than usual. They fired gas and smoke all over the street and down the allies. They fired rubber bullets at anything that moved in the main street. A 6 year old boy was shot in the arm and I don't know his condition. We stayed off the main street and waited with the medical teams. There was something in the air and we all spoke of it before the first shot was fired. The jeeps stayed until about 2 and then were gone and the camp was left to clean after a week of fairly constant incursions. The rest of the afternoon was quiet in the camp. But that was not so for the village of Beit Furik, which is just out side of Nablus. A resident from the village had shot and killed an arme settler in the area. The Palestinian was also killed, but still the village came under attack from the Israeli army and the settlers.

Several women from our group snuck into the closed village. When I called them at around 6:30 I heard a loud explosion in the back ground as to their surprise the army demolished the home of the dead fighters family about 100 meters in front of my friends. We expected this to happen and hoped to have international in the home before it could be demolished. Sometimes our presence can save a home but not on this day. My friends said that they spotted settlers riding in jeeps with the army and Palestinians confirmed it. The settlers are armed as well as a soldier and often cam be even more brutal than the soldiers. Why is it legal for a settler to be armed but not a Palestinian?

Today Sat. Aug 14 the army has instituted cerfew on the village of Beit Furik and the army is patrolling the village shooting at anything in the streets. Last night we had two women with the same family that the BBC journalist were detained with and the soldiers came at 3 am and detained everyone until about 10:30

Today I came to Jerusalem to extend my visa. Jerusalem feels so sureal and upscale compared to my last 2 months in Jenin and Nablus. When I hear activist talk in the hostel I just can't relate to them. I heard one talking about how more Israelis are coming into the old city of Jerusalem. All I could think of is all the Palestinians who are forbidden in Jerusalem. And how the Israeli army stilll comes into the villages and cities of the West Bank killing the Palestinians on a daily baisis.

Please bear with these last reports. I have reported the worst situations not to tell about me, but more to try to explain what life is like for a Palestinian. It may sound as though I am cannon fodder, but that is far from the truth. I have international privilage, something that the Palestinians don't have. The longer that I am here the more I am impressed by the non-violence of the Palestinians as a society. They have no real police force yet there is little to no crime, especially if you compare to the US. The environment they live in is extremely oppressive, I feel traumatized after only two months. Can you imagine the impact after two generations, yet they still stand hopelessly strong. I used to see throwing rocks as a violent act, but never did I condemed the act. Now as I watch soldiers laughing at the children when they throw rocks and watch soldiers enticing them to throw more and see that the soldiers are in no way afraid of the rocks I know it is not violent.

My stories my sound horific because they are but remember what our troops are doing in Iraq is much, much worse. Thousands of Iraqi's are dieing by the month and when we are done killing off any resistance Iraq will be reduced to a country occupied in much the same manner Palestine is occupied. As one Palestinian “there is only big Israel and little Israel” maybe it should be big America and little America. Before I condem Israel I need to condem my own country. I wish we Americans had half the insight and non-violent energy that the Palestinians have.

We see an “Arab” kill an American and we blame all the Arabs. Yet the Palestinians still differentiate between the people and the government. The Palestinians as a whole don't even dislike the Jews and would happly live side by side as before. And of course most Jews don't hate the Palestinians. The Problem is with the governments and it is the people who pay the ultimate price. The Palestinians give their lives and sanity and Israeli soldiers have to sacrifice their humanity and sanity. In the end we all loose. With this we Americans are loosing a bit of our humanity and loose more each day we keep our heads turned and our gazes on the next Macy's sale instead of our fellow humans.

Again I apologize if I sound angry, it's only because, I am. Along with a mixture of saddness, disgust, love and compassion.

In solidarity, Phil.

This is the listserv for the Friends of Palestine Solidarity Committee, based in Seattle. You can find out more about PSC by replying to this email address, emailing us at palestinejustice@yahoo.com, or by coming to one of our events. Once you've come to a meeting, you may become a member of PSC. We welcome all non-racists working for justice and human rights all over the world, including Palestine.